Playing House
by Beckett Simpleton
Summary: Young Artemis' house is too big, and filled with too many people he doesn't know. Daddy is too serious, and Mummy is always too many rooms away to get a hug. The stairs are too much effort, and hide-and-seek is too dangerous. Is everybody's house like this? Artemis contemplating his life, and basically grasping the class system. Kinda fluffy... more bitter-sweet... as usual from me


**Another 'in the thought pattern of little Artemis' fic.**

I live in a big house with lots of people, many of whom I do not know. There are Mummy, and Daddy, who are family, and Butler, who is… Butler. Butler has a sister called Juliet and that is all I know. If it were just us five, the house would be too big, but there are other people here too.

There is a man who cooks and a man who does the garden. There are men and women who make the house look clean and tidy and a lady who looks after the cars. Though these people do not live in my house, and maybe this is why it feels empty.

I wonder if everyone has a house like I do, but I think that this must not be true. Because when the cleaning ladies and the gardeners go home, they shouldn't have to have people cleaning their own houses and doing their own gardens, because then there would be too many people doing dishes and not enough people making gold.

I think only the people making gold get cleaners.

And the rest of the people must help the rest of the people. Like firemen and doctors.

I sometimes wonder if Daddy tries to fill the house with people he does not really know to make it seem less empty, but he acts as if he does not like them. Mummy does, and she talks to them and so do I.

There was a lady Daddy paid to look after me, but not like Butler, but Mummy got mad at him and they had a shout, which was quite scary, and the lady went to work somewhere else in the house, and I sometimes see her and I am nice to her.

Mummy shouts at Daddy a lot and personally, I think this is unnecessary and quite frightening. I do not see why they cannot simply discuss things, but then, maybe they feel like they have to scream sometimes too, like when I cannot reach a lot of things because they are high and I am small, or when people do not understand me, even though I am talking clearly, but they just scream words instead of sounds.

One time I was in the garden with Mummy (and Butler) and I was running around like a crazy person, which annoys Daddy, but Mummy thinks it is funny, and I ran into a tree, which hurt very much and I had to cry, even though Daddy does not like me crying, and Butler took me inside before Mummy could get to me, which made Mummy a bit angry, and she took me off Butler, but she did not shout at him like she shouted at Daddy, which was good, because I quite like Butler a lot.

I have had times before when I have hurt myself doing silly things that Butler has warned me not to do, but I have done them anyway, like slamming doors, but not by the handle, and hurting my fingers, and jumping off high things and hitting my face, and he makes me sit and puts stuff on me that hurts.

Mummy did not put stuff on my head that hurt, even though there was blood coming out a bit. Mummy just called me silly and put a sticky thing on my head, which I later peeled off and went back outside.

I do not think Mummy should live in a house like our house, because she is always doing the jobs of the people Daddy pays. I think she should be like the people Daddy pays and go home to a small house and live there with me, and also Butler, because I like him, and maybe Daddy, but I think they would shout a lot more in a small house because they would see each other more in one.

Also, our house is not a very good house because I have to walk around for a long time to find anyone, and it takes a long time to walk up all of the stairs. I don't know why we need a big house. There is a room full of books, and I like books, but lots of the books are boring. We should give the books to boring people and keep the exciting ones. Then we can fit the books in a room with something else, and there, one less room.

Also, we should only need one room with a TV, because everyone doesn't watch it a lot, so I do not know why we have to have about three rooms with the same things in, just in different colours.

There are too many rooms between everybody, and I think this makes it hard for anybody to get a hug. Sometimes I have to hug Butler on the leg, but he does not really hug back, he just pats my head a bit and looks at me weird.

And when I have to cry, it is always usually Butler who has to tell me to stop crying, because Mummy is either out with Daddy for a long time to places called London or France over some sea, or she is shouting with Daddy and cannot hear me, or there are so many rooms between us, she cannot hear.

I want to play hiding in the big garden, but I am not allowed to hide from Butler, because he has to know where I am at all times, and Mummy is busy usually to play hiding and Daddy would not be a good person to play hiding with.

Juliet sometimes plays hiding, but she is older than me and too good and I cannot ever find her. Also, most of the time Juliet is away learning how to kick better, so there is no one to play with.

I feel quite lonely, and I want to have people to speak the way I speak, and not big people speaking at me like I am stupid.

I want to know if I am the same, or if I am different, and have a comparison, have something to reassure me that there are other people out there, that I am not in another world, because that is how I am beginning to feel, of late. It is as if I am hidden away, and people on the other side of the Fowl Manor gates, which is the name of my house, are happy and playing and only have a few feet of not-expensive carpet between a hug.

I would like a bedtime story after a bedtime story and a hug after a nightmare. I would like to get up and jump on Mummy and Daddy's bed in the morning, but I just walked into their room once and Daddy was very angry.

I would like to graze a knee, and for things to be fixed with a kiss, or to be able to climb up trees with someone saying 'don't fall' instead of not being able to climb trees because I might fall.

I want to feel so close to people that I can feel warm, and I want to feel that I can be myself around people who are also being themselves, and that there is no pressure, to be who I am, and for everyone else to see who I am. I feel as if who I am is only for myself. I'm already becoming selfish and I've barely even started yet.

I want to give something and receive in return, and have an equal relationship with the people around me, and no just strive to expect, as my father does.

**I wrote this a while ago, and was clearing out my documents of rubbish and found it, but I actually enjoyed re-reading this, so I thought I'd post it for you guys.**


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